Anonymous asked: I am constantly comparing myself to my friends and others. ranking my friends in my head, I make myself sick. I don;t believe everyone is beautiful because there are beautiful people out there. I think i'm ok looking. but what if i am ugly, and am just used too looking at my ugly mug? Ironically I delusions that one day a hot smart finacially stable guy will fall in love with me and make me love myself. Like that's ever going to happen.
Can I just say, gpoy.
That being said, everything you’re thinking is completely natural. You’re not a freak of nature; you’re human.
But there’s actually no reason to make yourself sick, because if you feel so strongly about the judgment that’s going on in your head, you obviously have some form of compassion inside of you, which is definitely not something to be sick about.
Something I can also tell you is that you’re definitely beautiful. It’s a simple fact, because all people are. It’s just part of what it means to be human.
I don’t know how other people see you - if it’s bothering a whole lot you might want to ask them - but you can definitely change the way you look. Though it seems superficial, the right makeup and clothes can really do a lot to change the way you think about yourself. You’ll see new things you never thought you had before, and chances are other people probably will as well (and if they think you’re ugly, screw them). Every single person is beautiful, it’s just using the right combination of healthy habits and artificial components that brings that beauty out.
It’s okay to dream - it’s actually encouraged. Don’t think you’re deluding yourself in believing you’re going to find real love some day. What you should probably be doing is dreaming more. Dream that one day you’ll look in the mirror and say “I’m pretty.” Dream that one day you’ll pass by a store window and think, “I have a nice figure.” Etc., etc. Because dreaming something like that constantly will only help it grow from a dream to a realization. It’s possible that a guy could help you see all these kinds of things in yourself, but the truth is, you’re already a wonderful person without him, and as such, you’re fulling capable of recognizing your capacity to love and feel beautiful without his help.
It won’t be easy. It’ll probably be really, really hard. But if you really try to like yourself (really. Try! Each day look in the mirror and think of three, four, five things you like about yourself. At the end of each day write down three good things that happened that day), the extent to which you compare yourself with others will decrease dramatically.
Which is the way we were intended to live. ^^